Grandmother Arminda Elizabeth Erwin Montgomery

January 18, 1999

ARMINDA ELIZABETH ERWIN MONTGOMERY
My Paternal Grandmother
By Virginia Lea Montgomery Billingsley

There was a vacant place in my heart while growing up, reserved for the grandmother I never met. I often thought about her, longing to know more about her life. She seemed real to me in a spiritual sense, as I speculated about her likes and dislikes. It was more than idle curiosity - she would have been someone I deeply cared about.

I felt keen deprivation that she had died eight years before I was born on March 09, 1928; she passed away in June, 1920. She is buried in the Erwin Family cemetery near Pooleville, Texas. I have visited her grave at least four times. Her husband, Grandfather John A. Montgomery lies beside her; three deceased children's graves are nearby.

Daddy had the highest regard for his mother. He loved her deeply, it was obvious. In the 50 years I shared with him before he passed away in 1978, he never said a negative thing about his mother. He praised her for her caring ways, her quiet, gentle manner, her generosity to neighbors and total acceptance of her household.

She came from a strong, genteel Presbyterian family. The Erwins, land owners, were highly regarded in Parker County, Texas. There were lawyers, school teachers, and at least one judge in her background.

My knowledge of the Erwin family is scanty, other than they were very upstanding citizens of their community. Uncle Travis would talk to my mother about his and Dad's early life. It was difficult for my Dad to speak of his early life, so close was he to his mother. He never spoke of her without tears in his eyes and voice. How much grief he experienced in losing her, I will never fathom in this life. It is evident that the loss profoundly affected him, as well as his father, sisters and brothers... Their lives were never the same after they laid their mother to rest.

I have also garnered some information from snatches of conversation between my Uncle Travis and my Aunt Chella, Dad's older brother and sister. They would reminisce while they canned vegetables (in Aunt Chella's farm kitchen): corn, peas, tomatoes, cucumbers from the garden. Evidently, one of the Erwin boys (whether brother or uncle of Elizabeth's, I don't recall) was brutally murdered. An uncle, who was a judge, tracked down the killer, or killers, and brought them to trial.

These two older siblings of my father kept up with extended family more than the younger members. I remember Uncle Travis referring to the Brogden family, cousins on the Erwin side and he also visited with them. Some of that family migrated to the West Texas Plains about the same time the Montgomerys did.

You may remember the Holloways, Wilbur and Mollie, and their seven children, also Tom and Minnie Smith, both families residing in the Redwine community southeast of Tahoka, Texas. Mollie and Minnie were sisters, and were first cousins of our grandmother, Elizabeth. Mollie was a very gentle, frail lady; Minnie was more outgoing, a typical hardworking farm wife.

Genealogical records show the Erwin family descends from the House of Drum, of Scotland, which also produced King James I (or James VI) whether referring to Scotland's lineage, or England's, of the House of Stuart. This lineage is also the ancestry of the present Queen ElizabethII. there are at least one other king and a queen in the Erwin family ancestry, from the House of Drum. King James translated the King James Bible.

The family member who obtained the complete Erwin history is now deceased. I visited Uncle Woodrow and Aunt Velma shortly before he passed away in 1988, and read the entire information. Time did not permit copying it at that visit.

Uncle "Woody" obtained the Erwin information, as well as authenic Montgomery family history, from the archives of the State Library at Austin, Texas. If we ever get a complete copy, that is the place to research our various families...

It is interesting to note, at this point, that we are related through either the Erwin, or the Montgomery side, to the Parker family for which the county of Parker is named. This has piqued my curiosity all my life, to find out more about this connection. This Parker family was wealthy. They had a daughter, Cynthia Ann, who was stolen from her parents by the Indians, the Commanche tribe which was very prevalent in Parker County. Since she was never found and rescued, she grew up among the Commanches and married an Indian chief. She was the mother of the well-known Indian Chief, Quanah Parker. As an adult, she returned to the Parkers, but never adapted to the White Man's ways. My cousin, L. T. "Tunny" Hawkins named his daughter after Cynthia Ann.

In growing up, as well as in my adult life, I have met many people with the last name Parker, in Texas, who claim kin to Cynthia Ann.

A few years before his passing, Dad, in a rare introspective mood, remarked: of all the seven girls in our family, Donna and I are the most like his mother. I asked him how we were alike; he said both in looks and personality.

In years past when he and Mother were reminiscing, they discussed how much Betty, my sister just younger than me, was like her. In my opinion, Betty is much more like her in that sis Betty is diminutive in size, circumspect in behavior, reserved, with a dry sense of humor. I perceive that our Grandmother "Betty" (her family's nickname for her) was a saint, as my sister also fits that description! I cannot picture either "Betty" ever raising her voice, but quietly stating her belief or opinion, never meaning to offend, but steadfastly voicing her faith. Many things are not worth saying and neither of them would say it. An example of Grandmother "Betty's" quiet but effective statement: She believed that what she called "fiddle music" was "of the devil". She strongly disapproved of hard liquor of any kind.

A note to the cousins of the second and third generations: If you want to know what she looked like, you have met Elizabeth Montgomery Palko, Uncle Woodrow's oldest daughter. (Uncle Woodrow was the youngest child). If portraits tell the truth, the present Elizabeth looks just like our grandmother, Arminda Elizabeth. According to family members she is the same slight size, 5'4" tall, with dark hair and heavy-lidded dark eyes. (the heavy eye-lids are a family characteristic several cousins have inherited.)

Cousin Elizabeth looks so much like the large portrait (bust) of Arminda Elizabeth that Denny Palko, Elizabeth and Richard Palko's son (now deceased - he passed away with cancer at age 29) once asked his mother: "Mom"! Why did you dress in those funny clothes in that picture?" (referring to the portrait). In the white-framed oval portrait, Arminda Elizabeth's dark hair is in a boufant style, framing a delicate heart-shaped face with a deeply solemn expression. Drooping lids and heavy lashes outline the large, dark eyes. (Dad had said that her eyes were hazel...?)

I have seen one other portrait of my paternal grandmother. It is a 5X7 brown-tone, full-length likeness of her in her wedding dress. She looks very slight, standing in her high-top buttoned shoes, with the stylish ankle-length wedding gown, circa 1890's, covering the tops. Again her manner is solemn. I gaze at this picture many times, lost in a reverie of wanting to understand her.

She must be a great deal like Mary, the Mother of Jesus, so young, vulnerable; perhaps she is very much alone. Is she happy? I ask no one, wondering. I finally decide she is at peace with life as she knows it.

The girls in our family who most resemble Arminda Elizabeth, either in looks, or personality, or both, are: Elizabeth Montgomery Palko (one of the two granddaughters with Elizabeth as first name); Lynn Palko S.; Betty Zada Montgomery Williams (who is named for both her grandmothers); her granddaughter, Rebecca ("Becky") Williams; myself; my daughter, Nancy Elizabeth Billingsley Casaburi; her daughter, Erin Elizabeth Casaburi; my older daughter, Cheryl Billingsley Clower's daughter, Leah Elizabeth Clower Maynes (who is named for not only her great-grandmother, but for both her grandmothers); Linnie Dee Hawkins Kite (who looks like her mother, aunt Linnie Montgomery Hawkins); Donna Jean Montgomery Elliott; Ruth Ann Williams Jordan; Caitlin Graham; Tyler Elliott...*there may be someone I have missed - certainly not intentionally.

Grandmother Elizabeth had several sisters. They grew up to marry and rear their families nearby, in the Pooleville area of Parker County. Her parents lived across the road from where she and John A. reared their family on part of the Erwin land. I believe the strong family influence greatly inspired all of the children for good. Dad's older brother and sister, Uncle Travis and Aunt Chella, sought higher education, encouraging the youngers siblings to do the same, as they set their goals on pursuits beyond Parker County. My own father, James Reagan, also had this drive to improve. Thus, my grandmother had strong moral support from her extended family and her family of origin.

She followed the mores of the genteel country folk of those times, helping with farm chores both in the fields, and caring for the livestock. In addition, she had nine children, a beautiful family of energetic, ambitious future citizens of Texas. The family was very close-knit, and deeply caring for one another. They were strongly supported, as they grew up, by loving grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins....

It is difficult to imagine what my grandmother's life may have been without all the modern conveniences we enjoy today. I do understand that the times dictated many of the trials she underwent. What devastation to her happiness, to have lost two children in death! Hers closely followed her children's demise. Aunt Ivy was just older than Aunt Linnie; she underwent an appendectomy at age eleven. The scar did not heal properly; it tore open and peritonitis developed when the doctor used a safety pin to clasp the flesh together! Shortly before, Baby Lowell had died suddenly in his sleep. My Dad, the 3rd child, was his mother's helper; her was bonded, as we say now, to his baby brother; had held him while his mother did chores; had played with him in utter enjoyment. Dad spoke of his sad loss shortly before his own death; said he possibly died of what is now known as SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

Daddy had the gift of a special love for babies and little children, nurturing and caring for each of his own nine as if they were special gifts from Heaven. I believe it may have been inherited from his mother, and the love he had for his little brother. I am thankful for his gentle spirit, so evident in his love for us children.

When Grandmother became ill, and was no longer able to sit up, she "took to her bed" as they said then. There was not much hope that she would recover. A "faith healer" came to her bedside with his Bible, and read scripture to her, which helped her in the worst days, to endure the pain and suffering.

Whatever disease overtook my Grandmother Elizabeth, she was only 47 when she slipped away. There had been a flu epidemic in l918 that wiped out whole communities. Too, she had lost two children; some said she had "female trouble", prevalent at the time; others said it may have been TB, no one really knew and always wondered.

Her family, who loved her more than life, were devastated and forever changed. Nothing was the same for any of them. Uncle Woodrow was only six years old; husband John A. had lost his first wife, Annie Erwin, in childbirth. He was only 50 years old at the time of Elizabeth's death. Saying "Goodbye" must have been devastating to him.

Now, at age 70, I still ask the question silently, "How could my dear father withstand a blow of losing his mother at the tender, volatile age of 17?"

Uncle "Woody" named his oldest daughter Elizabeth so that his mother would always be remembered; and she is. My cousin Gene Marvin Bradley and his second wife, Shirley have a beautiful daughter and named her Elizabeth Rochelle (the "Rochelle" is a derivative of Aunt Chella's name). This precious daughter, born after Gene was 50, is a 'child of love', an intelligent, accomplished college student at Howard Payne University. Our grandmother Elizabeth will be remembered forever, until we meet on the other side.

I have a keepsake from Grandmother Arminda Elizabeth. It is a quilt she made from scraps of her family's clothing. It was handed down to me my my Aunt Chella Montgomery Bradley.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Should I have written about my Grandmother Arminda Elizabeth Erwin Montgomery? In truth, I never met her in this life. Yet, through your Holy Spirit, I am inspired by her life. I believe she had deep faith in You; she was a moral, pure woman with high ideals for her children and set a good example for those of us who have followed in her footsteps. I believe Proverbs 31:10 and following verses would apply to her life on earth. I wonder, as I write to You, dear God: Did anyone quote that scripture at her graveside? As I mentioned, I know so very little about her, except that she must be in Heaven with you.

"Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."

In Jesus' Name,
Amen